Family Tree
by Cyberchao X
Summary: Introducing the significant other to the family is never easy. When it's an interspecies relationship where the two families view each other as predator and prey, though...it's bound to get messy.


Family Tree  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Some characters are not mine. Others are.

A/N: You know, we so rarely here about any parent-child relationships in Gensokyo. Siblings, sure, but I think there has been a grand total of two mentions of anyone's parents—Marisa's father in some of the side materials and Mokou's father in her backstory. Oh, and I guess technically we have Kanako and Suwako as Sanae's adoptive parents.

…No, I'm not going to create fanchildren. As logical a next step as it might be for some of the relationships I've crafted, that's not my thing. (I haven't worked out the biology of it yet, anyway. Or is that magibiology?)

"Mother? Are you sure we're in the right place?"

"I'm scared. What if a tsuchigumo shows up and tries to eat us?"

"Now, now, I'm sure everything will be just fine. Your sister swears all of the youkai around here are really nice. Even if some of them _are_ highly dangerous."

"O-okay…kyah!"

"Wobble!" Rattle Nightbug cried out, seeing her younger sister under attack. "Mother, help!"

Before Nettle could react, though, another youkai stepped in. "Yahashi Kurodani! You stop that right now!"

"But neesan…they're so tasty…"

"I know, I know. Believe me, I know… _exactly_ …how lovely those firefly youkai taste. But actually _eating_ them…that's not going to be tolerated."

"Yamame-chan? What's all the yelling about?"

"Your family's here. And unfortunately, my sister arrived at just the wrong time."

"…Okaa-san! You made it! And Rattle-chan and Wobble-chan as well!" Wriggle cried, running to embrace her mother and younger sisters. (A/N: Hey, the canon character's name is _Wriggle_. I decided to go with a theme naming. I was considering "Bubble", but I thought too many people would only see it for the noun…even though "Rattle" and "Nettle" are also words that can be a noun as well as a verb. So if I ever add more members, you know what types of words to expect.)

"You did warn me that the youkai around here were dangerous," Nettle replied.

"Well, I've never met _that_ one," Wriggle replied, indicating Yahashi. "Though I'm not surprised that her first reaction was to try to turn you into a meal. Yamame-chan and I had a rather similar first meeting."

"Yamame-chan…?"

"Yes." She put her arm around the elder Kurodani sister. "My girlfriend."

"You're dating a tsuchigumo?" Rattle asked.

"Wait, wait, this girlfriend you wanted to introduce me to is _that_ little thing? Besides the fact that she's food, she's not even mature!"

"Oh, she's _quite_ mature," Yamame replied.

"Word to the wise: you might not want to say such things in the presence of your girlfriend's mother," Nettle advised. Meanwhile, Wriggle was quite indignant at Yahashi pointing out her lack of assets.

Yamame blushed. "I-I meant that despite her youthful appearance, she has the maturity of an adult! I mean, clearly that's just a racial trait, right, Nightbug-san? After all, you look like you could be the same age as me!"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Kurodani-san."

"You say that, but you're clearly in your glory," Wobble said.

"So anyway, before that _rude_ one interrupted, I was about to ask you: what happened?" Rattle asked.

"What do you mean?" Wriggle replied.

"Well, I am surprised that you ended up hooking up with a species of youkai that normally preys on our kind. And it sounded like you intimated that this wasn't originally meant to be an exception."

"Uh…"

"What happened is that your big sister has some massive…well, you know. Not literally, of course, as my sister so _rudely_ pointed out, but she's got one hell of a pair." (A/N: Thought about how to adapt that particular saying to such a female-dominated land, and breasts seemed like the best option. Though I probably could've stayed in the reproductive regions given that some languages' euphemisms for testicles actually translate to "eggs".) "Faced with seemingly certain death, she decided that her best option was to _flirt_ with me."

"Pretended that I thought she had ensnared me to have her way with me rather than to eat me. Completely threw her off."

"What were you _thinking?!_ "

"That I was probably dead in a matter of minutes if I didn't do _something_ and that fighting it would be futile. Intentionally misreading the situation seemed like the option with the greatest chance of getting me out of there, however slim it was."

"And I'm glad you did. One meal would've paled to what I've gotten from you as a result of sparing you."

"Again, don't want to hear this about my daughter," Nettle said.

"I honestly wasn't talking about that. For a while she actually provided me with insects, but all edibles aside…I love her. I love everything about her. Her courage; her smile; her intelligent wit; the fact that she always lets me use her to try out new designs on even though I know she gets tired of it…"

"New designs?"

"I'm a fashion designer. I make all my own dresses…literally."

"Wow, that's so cool! Can you make me a dress?" Wobble asked. "I'd get so much respect at school if I came in wearing spider silk."

"Of course, Wobble-chan. But I'd have thought you'd be none too pleased with the idea of spider silk on your body after…well…"

"Hey, she _is_ my sister," Wriggle pointed out.

"Whatever you're thinking, leave me out of it!" Yahashi interjected.

"I wasn't considering you at all. I was just thinking about myself and about your sister."

"Wriggle-chan, dear, I told your girlfriend before, and I'm telling you now…I _really_ don't need to hear about my daughter's sex life."

"Sorry, mother."

"S-sex life?" Wobble asked.

"I think maybe Wriggle was implying that her 'intentional misread' might've also been a little bit of wishful thinking."

"It was not! That was strictly about trying to save my own life!" A bit softer, so only her sister could hear, she added, "I-I developed the fetish later."

"Wow, nee-chan. I'd say you became quite the wild one when you left home…but actually it's not surprising that a good girl like you would become a submissive."

"Rattle-chan!"

"I'm just teasing. Even as the sub, the whole S&M thing doesn't seem like you."

"W-well, I wouldn't really call it 'S&M'…I mean, yeah there's bondage, but it's not like anyone's hurting anyone else. I just…I don't know. Somehow it almost seems romantic that Yamame-chan is tying me up, like she's claiming me all for herself."

"That's called Stockholm syndrome. I'm not really sure why; it's named after a place in the Old World."

"I've heard of it, and that's not the case. If anything, I induced Lima syndrome when I first sweet-talked my way out of being eaten."

"It's true. You did."

"Wait, why'd you take your sister here with you?"

"Because I still don't trust her alone with your family."

"But didn't you invite other relatives?"

"…It's your fault for taking your sister away for a private conversation."

They rejoined their guests just in time for more guests to arrive. "Ah, you must be Kurodani-sama. It's an honor to meet you."

"Oh? Who's this delectable little morsel?" Bokumo Kurodani asked.

"That would be Wriggle. The girl I was telling you about. _Not_ food."

"I made the same 'mistake', haha-san. Neesan has taken 'playing with her food' to new heights." (A/N: Why, yes, I _did_ play around on Google Translate to come up with names with appropriate alternate character readings for Yamame's family. Have fun with that!)

"Can we not rehash this?" Wriggle asked. "Fill your mother in on our bizarre first encounter later."

"N-no thanks," Yamame replied.

"Yamame-chan?"

"I'm afraid of how she'll react."

"Why would you be afraid of my reaction?"

"Because I essentially got tricked by a potential meal."

"Oh? So then this 'they're not food' wasn't an inherent feeling?"

"No. I captured Wriggle-chan, and she started flirting 'back'—intentionally and willfully misreading the situation as a form of courtship—and I got flustered and let her go. And…well, it really irritated me, and I couldn't stop thinking about it…but by the time I finally found her again, I realized it was really _her_ I couldn't stop thinking about. I'd been tricked, sure, but I had to admire her courage to do that in that situation."

"She had nothing to lose. What would've been courageous would be to do that when she still had an escape."

"So I finally caught up to her, captured her again, and…took a little taste. And I instantly knew that I wanted that taste in my mouth for far longer than the duration of a meal." By this point she was hard-pressed to avoid making out with Wriggle on the spot.

"Well, you're right that I'm mad about you getting outsmarted by your prey…but you're still my daughter, and if this firefly girl makes you happy, then I'm happy to be gaining such a clever daughter-in-law."

"That's…very kind of you, Kurodani-sama. Although Yamame-chan and I haven't really considered formally getting married."

"That may be for the best. Our kind tend to eat their mates, though given the incompatability of your biology for reproduction on multiple accounts, you have nothing to worry about there."

"Uh, so…Rattle-chan! We've been talking so much about my love life, and I haven't asked about yours."

"Oh, you know, the usual. Been doing the ancestral dance," Rattle said sarcastically. Wriggle laughed.

"Ancestral dance?" Yamame asked.

"Yeah, nee-chan never performed it for you? I'm surprised; she seemed rather insecure when your sister pointed out her flatness up top so I figured she'd be all too happy to shake her assets for you.

"It's a running joke among firefly youkai. No one actually performs the old firefly dances once they're a youkai, since without the lights, it's just shaking your naked ass about."

"Well, I'm sure you'd find a mate in no time if you tried that," Yahashi said. "I wouldn't mind seeing it—minus the 'naked' part, of course."

"Like I'd turn my back on you."

"I'm serious. You've got quite the abdomen, Rattle-san."

"Oh? Has your sister's story inspired you? Are you going to _actually_ flirt with your prey to lure them into a false sense of security?"

"I was _trying_ to be civil. As much as I'd rather just devour your little sister, our older sisters are in love and they want us to get along."

"But not me?"

"Well, I'd eat you eventually. But my sister's strange taste in women has got me curious. I'd probably try to…savor you more."

"You _were_ hitting on me."

"I'm not really interested, but I wasn't lying about checking out your abdomen, either, and the idea of having a bit of _fun_ with my food before finishing it sounds quite appealing."

"That's not the tsuchigumo way. Other spider youkai might do that, but our kind has more honor," Bokumo said.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that there are far scarier monsters out there."

"There are far scarier monsters _in here,_ " Wriggle said. "Especially lately."

"What do you mean, 'especially lately'?!"

"…I meant 'in here' as in within the Palace of Earth Spirits as a whole, not 'in here' as in 'within this dwelling'. It opens up to the Former Hell, which was scary enough _before_ the resident hell raven started dating a vampire."

"Wait, are you having a party and didn't invite me? I'm so jealous."

"Parsee-chan, what are you doing here?" Yamame asked.

"I'm sorry; I tried to stop her. But you know how she gets when she senses something to be jealous about," Hina said.

"Uh…friends of yours?" Nettle asked.

"Yeah. Parsee-chan and I have been friends for awhile, along with an oni named Yuugi. Hina-san is Parsee's girlfriend. Anyway, it's not really a party." Under her breath she added, "Though the interruption is welcome."

"…My family never comes to visit me," Parsee pouted.

"Neither do ours, normally. But we invited them here because, well, it seemed like the right thing to do," Wriggle said.

"You sound like you're having your doubts," Hina replied.

"No, this was necessary. Uncomfortable, but that was to be expected given our species' natures," Yamame answered.

"We can leave if you want," Bokumo offered.

"No, that's…like I said, this was something that needed to be done."

* * *

CCX: This feels like it's going nowhere. The problem with slice of life is that there's no obvious place to end it, and I got the idea for this fairly late at night which is often a recipe for disaster. Consider this another entry of world-building in my twisted web of Touhou fanfiction. CCX, signing off.


End file.
